The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

written by: Eric Roth (based of the F. Scott Fitzgerald short story)
directed by: David Fincher

I will try not to be biased seeing as i absolutely love Brad Pitt. ok here goes.

Somewhere as a kid you might have heard the story of Benjamin Button. He for some reason ages backwards when everyone else goes the regular way. Got that? Good.

The movie starts in New Orleans in the late summer of 2005. A terrible storm is coming and an old woman in a hospital bed asks her daughter to read to her this journal that was in her suitcase. It tells the story of Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt). He was abandoned on the doorsteps of an old folks home in 1918 because he was a wrinkly deformed looking baby riddled with cataracs and arthritis. There he was raised by Queenie (Taraji Henson), the black woman who ran the place. She cared for Benjamin because she didn't think he had long left on the earth and all of God's creatures deserve to be given a chance right? Right.

Benjamin grows up surrounded by the old, but that is no problem because he fits right in. At 7 he is still in a wheelchair but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a seven year olds curiosity. Eventually he gets bigger and a cane replaces his wheelchair. Queenie can't explain what's going on with Benjamin but she's plenty happy to have him around. The old people teach him about life and how to play the piano and he meets a little girl named Daisy (eventually played by Cate Blanchett) who is one of the residents' granddaughters. Daisy senses that Benjamin is a lot different than he seems and they become fast friends.

Daisy continues to visit and notices the changes in Benjamin. He walks a little better every time. Has a little more hair. He even goes off and fights in WWII all the while traveling the globe and sending Daisy postcards of his travels.

We eventually find out that the old woman in the bed is an old Daisy. Her daughter Caroline (Julia Ormond) becomes more and more intrigued in Benjamin's story. She also learns a lot that she didnt know about her mother.

At first I was kinda worried because Tim Burton wasn't directing this movie. I mean Tim Burton! come on, but David Fincher and Brad Pitt go way back (see: Seven, Fight Club) so I knew David would do a good job. My expectations were greatly exceeded.

First off I was worried that with it being set in New Orleans, everyone would have this horrible southern accents. As any Southerner knows, we all sound different, and nobody bothers to notify Hollywood of this fact. But they all sounded right!

And I dont know or care how they did it, but from the start you can tell that little Benjamin is Brad Pitt. Its the eyes. They never change. Pay attention. The makeup and CGI are flawless. And not even for Benjamin, for Daisy too. When Daisy is 20 she looks 20. Cate Blanchett aint 20!

And I knew that the movie was going to be lengthy but I didn't know 2:47 was the runtime until right before the movie started. I couldnt feel it! I was so drawn into the characters. Benjamin is a quiet, reserved character but that does not make him stupid. He doesn't say much but its because he was observing everything around him and made great deatils in his notes that Caroline is reading to her mother.

I'm not quite sure the significance of them making Caroline and Daisy talk about the journal during Katrina so that was my only beef with the movie. Other than that I wanna see it again, even though I was crying like a lil bitch. Go see it. The 3 hours is worth it.

Slumdog Millionaire

written by: Simon Beaufoy (novel by: Vikas Swarup)
directed by: Danny Boyle

Summer is for blockbusters, and winter is for award winners.

India has their own version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire". You win 20,000,000 rupees. Yay! Here we meet Jamal Malik (Dev Patel) who is an 18 year old kid from the slums. And somehow he has gotten one question away from winning the big bucks. Doctors and lawyers hadn't made it that far so is he drug in for questioning to see how exactly he has cheated to make it that far in the game. This is when Jamal tells his story. Every questino that was asked ties directly into his life growing up.

I dont even know how much of the story to go into because all of it is great. I mean thats basically the story right there. We watch Jamal and his brother Salim grow up in the slums. They meet a little girl named Latika, and Jamal spends the rest of his life trying to find her. Ok that's all I'm giving away.

Good lord this is a good movie. I don't know the last real "feel good" movie I've seen, but this is one of them. There aren't too many subtitles because most of the characters speak English. For some reason its rated R here, but i can't figure out why. But i definitely recommend this movie. When we went to see it nobody moved till the credits were over. Thanks too some good ol fashioned Bollywood dancing. Anyway, this is one of the best movies of 2008. Hands down. Go. Go see it.

Milk

written by: Dustin Lance Black
directed by: Gus Van Sant

Hollywood hasn't gotten off its kick of biographical movies. And why not? they seem to produce tons of nominations. Milk is no exception.

Harvey Milk (Sean Penn) is an older gay man in the early 60's in New York. He meets a young hottie Scott Smith (James Franco) on the night of his 40th birthday and they immediately hit it off and go home together. They make a few jokes together and get to know each other.
Cut to about a year later when they decide to pack up and head west. They settle in San Francisco in a gay-friendly-ish area called Castro. Harvey and Scott open up a film shop but they get a not-so friendly welcome by some of the local business owners.

The shop quickly becomes a rest stop for some of the local gay men in the area where they can sit around and talk about issues and help each other out. Harvey is soon known as the go to guy to get stuff done around the community. He organizes a gay and lesbian business owner coalition, he knows the cops and stops them from beating on gay men, he even gets with the teamsters to help with boycotts.

Eventually Harvey gets it in his head to run for city planner. After a few failed attempts at gaining office, Scott decides he can't take Harvey's time in the limelight and they break up. He hooks up with a little Latin dude named Jack (Diego Luna) who is completely nuts. But Harvey continues to press forward and get a seat on the city board.

Meanwhile in Florida a woman named Anita Bryant has formed a religious group that wants to outlaw being gay. The movement sweeps the nation and eventually comes to face California. They want to impose Proposition 6 which will terminate any gay teacher in the state or anyone who supports them.

Dan White (Josh Brolin) is another city planner who is wholesome and believes in a firm family life. He and Harvey dont necessarily see eye to eye but they do need each others support to get certain laws to pass. Eventually Dan thinks Harvey screws him over and looks to get even.

I didnt know a thing about Harvey Milk before I went to see this movie. I mean I figured San Francisco had always been pretty gay, but this movie really lets you know the struggle gay men had to go through to be themselves in the 60s. Gus Van Sant weaves in actual news footage into movie. If I hadn't seen it I would have thought the writers were exaggerating the Anita Bryant angle of the movie. Maybe being raised in this day and age makes me feel more enlightened and i dont see how people could have been so ignorant such a short time ago. Not saying that everyone is on board for people being gay but shit. It was also a coincidence that the movie was released right around the time California had to vote on Prop 8 which would overturn the right for gay people to get married.

Anyway, I'm quite sure that Sean Penn will get nominated for a best actor. James Franco was damn good but I think another nod will go to Emile Hirsch. He plays Cleve Jones who is a young dude from...Detroit i think...who becomes really good friends and basically a campaign manager for Harvey.

But its just a good story. It's not entirely political. It just goes through the struggle of hiding who you are from all the people around you. How friends get you through hard times. And a bit about how promisicous gay men can be.

And like most biopics, they go through what became of the people featured in the movie. I didn't become teary until one of the final scenes in the movie. So if youre a sap like I am, you might need tissues for that bit.

And if youre a tad squirmish about men on men scenes in movies, they do the love scenes pretty tastefully. So don't let that discourage you from seeing the movie. It's a great story.

Nobel Son

writen by: Jody Savin & Randall Miller
directed by: Randall Miller

i can't remember what exactly it was that made me want to see Nobel Son. cause i know the commercial was on maaaaybe for a week and it was just a short clip of what seemed to be a shady heist movie starring Alan Rickman and Eliza Dushku so i figured what the hell.

the movie starts with an ATM mugging and a graphic clip of someone getting a thumb chopped off. Cut to Eli Michaelson (Alan Rickman) in his super nerd biochemistry class when he find out that he has been selected for a nobel prize. His son Barkley (Bryan Greenberg) is a PhD candidate and is doing his thesis on...cannibalism...who is sitting in a coffee house when he hears the news. To say he is less than pleased is an understatement. The wife/mom Sarah (Mary Steenburgen) is an FBI profiler. At a dinner get together to celebrate Eli gets approached by one of many female students he has been sleeping with, she starts to cause a scene but he manages to shush her before people start to really notice. Barkley is ready to get out because he has the hots for this spoken word artist City Hall (Eliza Dushku). He watches her set at the coffee house (along with some other horrible hillarious artists) and they decide to go to her place for the night.

Barkley swears he's broke and she makes him stop at the ATM with a goofy mask on to prove just exactly how broke he is with an ATM slip. they go to her place and get it on on the roof. Eli and Sarah are at home anxiously awaiting his return but when they can't wait any longer, they ask the reformed passive agressive renter of their garage apartment (Danny Devito) to look out for Barkley. Barkley wakes up late and tries to rush to his parents house to catch the flight for the Nobel Prize ceremony but when he gets home, they are gone and BAM he gets got upside the back of the head. Thrown into the back of a MINI cooper, and taken to some abandonded shack where he then learns his kidnapper is Thaddeaus (Shawn Hatosy) and they have more in common than meets the eye.

From then the story gets more involved and Eli has to choose how important his son is to him and Sarah has to use her FBI skills to try and track her son. There's some double crossings, some family history, some horrible disguises, and a bad ass car scene in a mall.

This movie is one of the ones that you catch on cable in the middle of the night and get suckered into and can't stop watching. It's not a seamless story. There are plenty of plot holes and some unbelievable situations but the movie doesnt take itself that seriously so its great. Alan Rickman is always a great jerk. Mary Steenburgen is such a cute mom as usual. Shawn Hatosy was the bad guy in Alpha Dog that kidnaps the little boy and for some reason he is just a creepy kidnapper who gives me the willies.

Anyway, so look for the movie on Netflix or Redbox or wherever you go get rentals. Or wait for it to come on HBO late one night.

Rachel Getting Married

Written by: Jenny Lumet

Directed by: Jonathan Demme



There was all this talk abuot this movie being Anne Hathaway's breakout role and she'd probably be nominated for an Oscar or something and I knew Anne had done indie work cause my sister loved Havoc and I remember Anne Hathaway from that show that ran on FOX pre OC but sorta like a more grown up OC or sorts...Anyway I knew she wasn't all cutesy Princess Bride and Devil Wears Prada.



Anne plays Kym in Rachel Getting Married. She's a chronic rehaber who is out for the weekend to attend her sister Rachel's (Rosemarie Dewitt) wedding. Kym is picked up by her super sweet dad Paul (Bill Irwin) and step mom Carol (Anna Smith) and is dropped off smack dab in the middle of the chaos of setting the house up for the wedding. It's a giant multi-cultural musical bunch of friends raising a tent and setting up flowers in the house and theres black people and white people and asian people and guys playing saxaphones and a violinist and kids on drums. Its crazy. And here's Kym puffing away on her cigarettes after 9 months in rehab.



Rachel is estatic to see her sister but Emma (Anisa George) the Maid of Honor is not. The girls have been friends since kindergarten and Emma is well aware of Kym's mishaps. Kym is slighted as Rachel and Emma go about getting the Sari pinned for the wedding. They immediately get to bickering.



Kym has to keep up with Addicts Anonymous meetings, drug test, and the temptation to use while dealing with the stress from being around the family. Her dad is overbearing and worried that something will happen when she's out of his eyesight, especially behind the wheel of a car. Her mom is avoiding her, and they avoid at all costs any discussion about the family tragedy they all went through.



At first i was completely annoyed with the directors use of a handheld camera to film the movie. Im like 'what is this? Cloverfield/Blair Witch all over again" which didnt make sense because this is a dramatic movie, not scary. And i wanted more of a backstory like "why is kym in rehab" and how the hell did Rachel and Sidney get together? And i was just irritated. And i was worried i had got sucked into another "Margot At The Wedding".

But at some point in the movie the documentary style camera made you feel like you were there. Like you were at the house getting ready for the wedding. And Rachel and Kym were bickering sisters that you had to sit through the uncomfortableness of watching argue. But not sisters that hate each other, just regular sisters. And you were part of the warm, loving, Conneticuit family.

All the critics are going on and on about Anne Hathaway, and she is great as Kym, but I really loved Rosemarie Dewitt as Rachel. I guess Anne's more famous so she gets more publicity. But Rachel is the older sister who has to entertain her sisters narcisism, while trying to shine as the star in her own wedding. She can't stand Kym for always being in the way and screwing up but steps in as the older sister to take care of her. She's great.

I can see why its getting the oscar buzz. If you can get past the first 10 minutes, youre hooked. Great movie.

Happy-Go-Lucky

Written & Directed by: Mike Leigh

Soooo everytime we would go to Angelika we saw a preview for Happy Go Lucky (did i write a review for Loins of Punjab Presents??? it was the funniest movie this year. plain and simple.) anyway, it looked cute and perky and there was a Lily Allen song playing and a happy little British chick rode around on a bike and made fun of her boob lifts.

We meet Poppy (Sally Hawkins), the "happy-go-lucky" elementary school teacher. She's 30, and lives with her flatmate Zoe (Alexis Zergerman) who is also a teacher. They work during the week and party really hard on the weekends. Poppy is a sweet lady who really cares about the well being of others.

That's really all the movie is about. Poppy and her interaction with other people who dont share quite the same optimistic view on life that she does. She trampolines, and takes flamenco classes, and befriends a psycho driving instructor and a social worker, and all the other random Brits she comes in contact with.

Sally Hawkins isn't unbelievably happy. And the character Poppy is just one of those people who lifts up anyone when they are down, even if she doesn't know you. Sally pulls it off. Some people compare it to Amelie, and i could see the similarities, its just that Amelie was just as cute and likeable, but the movie was also plot driven.

The guy who played Scott (Edide Marsan) was totally creepy and weird but im sure he was supposed to be.

Overall the movie was just ok. I didnt leave wanting to hug strangers, and nothing extremely tragic happened to totally change Poppy's view on the world. But I think it would have been better as a book than a screenplay. It was like bam theres Poppy she wears funky clothes and is super quirky. I was kinda so what about it.

RocknRolla

written & directed by: Guy Ritchie

YES! Guy Ritchie is back. Yeah I know it aint like he's made tons of films but dammit I was wondering if he was just going to sit at home and live off Madonna (well not anymore) but he was in the studio making the awesomeness that is a Guy Ritchie film.

If you've seen Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, or Snatch, you know how seemingly random characters and events coincide to a nice gangster filled fight. If you don't know, then you should be ashamed of yourself and find out as soon as possible. So I will do my best.

Some down in the gutter gangsters "The Wild Bunch" are made of One Two (Gerard Butler), Mumbles (Idris Elba), and Handsome Bob (Tom Hardy) want to get in the real estate game in London. The underhand real estate game and a lot of other gangster shit is run by Lenny (Tom Wilkinson) who's right hand man is Archie (Mark Strong). Lenny screws over the Wild Bunch and they end up owing him two mil. Lenny is also working with a Russian gangster who wants to do major developing in town. Lenny's fee is 7 mil to get the project moving along quickly. The Russian get his accountant Stella (Thandie Newton) to get the cash to Lenny. The Russian also lets Lenny borrow his precious lucky painting. Stella is a crooked little lady and calls her buddy One Two to rob the guys carrying the money to Lenny and give her a cut off the top. While the painting is in Lenny's possesion it gets stolen by his degenerate pressumed dead rockstar stepson Johnny Quid (Toby Kebbell), who is managed by Roman (Ludacris) and Mickey (Jeremy Piven). The Russian thinks theres something awry and demands that his lucky painting is returned, which sends everyone crossing paths and trying to pin down Johnny.

Whew. The movie takes a minute to get going because there are so many characters to deal with. But once it does it kicks ass. I loved Tom Wilkinson as Lenny. He plays an asshole boss gangster pretty well. I dunno who the guy that played Archie is, but you know how the second in command is always cool, calm, and collected. THAT is Archie. He has a patented backhand slap I wish I could try on someone. Gerard Butler is wonderful to look at, but him and the other Wild Bunch guys really seem like grity gangster buddies. And you get to see him do a hillarious dance number. BUT the standout player for me was Johnny Quid. He's a strung out junkie Rocknrolla but he knows his game and he knows it well. Like you wanna hate him cause he's an asshole and unpredictable and just diry, but he's kinda cool at it.

The movie isn't as funny as Ritchie's previous work. Don't get me wrong, it had some laugh out loud bits and the dialogue is great, but its not as quirky funny as the others. It reminds me more of Layer Cake (which happened to be directed by the producer of Lock Stock and Snatch), or Lucky Number Slevin. It's more...character driven than story driven I think. There's flashbacks involved to get more background. That's new for Ritchie. I loved it. Yes I'm partial to British gangsters, but I loved it! It's not as violent either as the others. But it sticks to the Ritchie formula and thats fantastic.

Zach & Miri Make a Porno

written & directed by: Kevin Smith

Normally I dont watch Kevin Smith's movies that take a trip outside of his View Askew universe. I like the running gags and repition of characters and general absuridty and vuglarness that insues inside the realm. But when I saw the preview for this and that Elizabeth Banks and Seth Rogen were in it I had to see it.

Zach (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) are life long friends and current roommates who have crappy dead end jobs. Miri works at the mall and Zach works at a coffee house. They find themselves flat broke but get ready to attend their 10 year high school reunion, where Miri is determined to sleep with the hottest guy in the school, Bobby Long (Brandon Routh).

Zach despises everyone in his class and Miri zooms in on Bobby as soon as they get there. Zach finds himself chatting with a mysterious guy Brandon (Justin Long) who tells him about all the money he makes in LA doing gay porn and he's just in town to go come to the reunion with his boyfriend...Bobby.

Miri is distraught so the pair go home only to find that their lights and water have been turned off. They go to the bar and Zach figures that they could do like Brandon and make a porno. Who wouldnt pay to see people from their high school class make porn??? (hypothetical question of course).

So Zach talks to his coworker Delaney (Craig Robinson) to bankroll the film (from his flat screen tv fund), they hold auditions, and get to work on making the film. Zach and Miri figure they should be able to get through their scene because after all they are just friends...or are they???

There is no way to describe this movie but a romantic comedy. A very very explicit romantic comedy. I mean its very predictable what will happen but they have a real live porn star in the movie (Katie Morgan), a hillarious list of porn movie titles, and thankfully Kevin put his good buddy Jason Mewes in the movie. This movie is not for the easily unsettled. They don't show EVERYTHING, but they come damn close.

It wasn't as funny as say...Tropic Thunder or Pineapple Express, but it was damn entertaining. When the credits started I was kinda pissed because the movie felt unfinished, so I sat tight and hoped for a scene during/after the credits, and sure enough Kevin did not fail me. The movie wrapped up nicely so don't pop up as soon as its done. And definetly do not take any children or the easily offended.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

Written by: Peter Straughan (screenplay), Toby Young (book)
Directed by: Robert B. Weide

Apparently there is no shortage of books to be optioned into movies. How To Lose Friends is the “based on a true” story tale of a guys transition from small time journalist to hob knobbing with the A-listers in Hollywood.

Sidney Young (Simon Pegg) runs a small celebrity magazine in the UK. Not so much glorifying them like say, People, but exposing them as the people they are. Word of his magazine travels to America where big time editor Clayton Hardig (the Dude himself, Jeff Bridges) wants Sidney to come in and write for his swanky celeb rag Sharps Magazine. Clayton is an idol to Sidney who always loved his no holds barred approach to celebrity news.

Sidney has a series of misfortunate events when he gets to town, one of which includes ruining several pages of Alisen Olsen’s (Kirsten Dunst) handwritten manuscript at a bar. The next day he finds out that he will be working right next to Alisen in room one (the bottom rung of the ladder) at Sharps. Sidney’s lack of charm sends him into the shit more than once while he tries to learn the ropes from Alisen. He just has the hardest time getting his shit together. Then he’s at a party where he meets Sophie Maes (Megan Fox), a hot young starlet who is destined to be the next big thing. Her manager Eleanor (Gillian Anderson) has an unspoken deal with Sharps magazine to get her clients out there. Sidney has to figure out how to play the game right if he ever wants to have a chance at Sophie Maes or to move up to the next level and impress his boss.

After the movie I felt kinda meh about it. I love Simon Pegg but this wasn’t a Simon Pegg movie (see: Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) so it was just ok. Yeah there were some laughs here and there but after a while youre like “oh come on nobody can screw up THAT much”. But then I got home and IMDB’d it and sure enough Robert B. Weide is a producer of Curb Your Enthusiasm so that’s why every thing seem so familiar to me.

Mediocre movie. But I did love that Jeff Bridges has that long silver hair. I mean he looked pretty good bald in the best movie of the summer (if you don’t know what I’m talking about then you haven’t been reading my movie reviews) but it was good to see good ol Dudemeister with long hair again, even if it was salt and pepper colored. That was about my highlight of the film. Seriously. Meh.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Written by: Lorene Scafaria (screenplay), Rachel Cohn (novel)
Directed by: Peter Sollett

We follow a bunch of quirky teens on their awesome Friday night in the great city of New York. Nick (Michael Cera) is getting over the horrible break up between him and Tris (Alexis Dziena ). His bandmates Tom and Dev decide that he needs to get out of the house which is difficult until they overhear their favorite band Where’s Fluffy is going to be in the city doing a random show at some random hour sometime that night. Awesome.

Norah (Kat Dennings) and her friend Caroline (Ari Graynor) are also super psyched about going to see Where’s Fluffy so they plan to hit the town. Tris asks about their plans because she plans to go out as well. Then she gossips to Caroline about her loser ex and his sappy mix cds he keeps making her. Unbeknownst to Tris, Norah thinks they are great and has been swiping them from the trash everytime Tris chunks them.

As fate should have it all the kids end up at Nick’s band’s gig. Tris has a new guy on her arm and she makes fun of Norah for being alone…again. Norah fakes having a boyfriend and randomly picks the bassist from the band, our buddy Nick. Caroline is off getting trashed so Dev and Tom offer to take Caroline home while Nick and Norah get acquainted. Which works great until they lose her. The rest of the night involves gay male cabaret, throw up, and a trip to Electric Lady studio, among other things. If you’ve had a night that lasted till 6am before, you know you end up seeing some ridiculous things.

For some reason I thought this movie would be more focused on the music. I suppose it’s the “Inifinite Playlist” part. Yes Nick is in an indie rock band and they see another band and chase another band all around town, and even listen to The Cure on the ipod in the car. But there wasn’t much soundtrack wise. At least not that I was paying attention to.

Michael Cera plays the character that he is great for playing. That awkward kid we met as George Michael on Arrested Development. That is him. And he is good at it. And I won’t get tired of watching it. Kat Dennings is good at the odd man out teenage girl. I don’t know who Ari Graynor is but she is hilarious and plays drunk as good as an actual drunk. The supporting cast of teens is pretty accurate. I suppose. I don’t know any teenagers. And if you are into any indie hipster anything, there are a few cameos that you will love.

Luckily this movie was not as…trendy…as Juno was. A lot of people had issues with the dialogue in Juno, which could very well be accurate, but again I know no teens. These kids seemed real to me though. They were into their music and that’s all they wanted to do. They were funny and sincere and had great close friendships. Well at least friendships you could really relate to. I would call this a slightly less cool teen version of Garden State. Yes. That’ll do.

Blindness

Written by: Don McKellar (screenplay), Jose Saragamo (novel)
Directed by: Fernando Meirelles


There’s random guy (Yusuke Iseya) who discovers he suddenly has become blind while waiting at a stop light. A thief (Don McKellar) takes him home and steals his car. Blind guy’s wife (Yoshino Kimura) comes home and sees he has made a mess and takes him to the doctor’s office. The doctor (Mark Ruffalo) examines him and sees no real cause for his blindness, yet is baffled because Blind Guy describes everything as white, where normal blindess is simply an absence of light, not an abundance. Doctor goes home and tells his wife (Julianne Moore) off the bizarre case. They go to bed and the next morning Doctor finds himself seeing the same white abundance of light. Such is the case for every person that was in the doctor’s office that day plus everyone that they came in contact with and so on and so forth.

Within hours government vehicles have come to take Doctor and the immediately effected into quarantine camps. His wife, who miraculously can still see, decides to go with him since she doesn’t really know where her husband is going. They soon find themselves surrounded with the people who were in the doctor’s office the day before. Freaky outtie. Anyway, over the course of the week the camp soonn is busting at the seams with those infected. The majority of the movie is about the groups survival in the camp and eventually their “freedom” into a country gone blind.

Good lord this movie was hard to watch. I don’t just call these people by their character traits simply because I forgot their names. That’s how the movie is set up. There’s a lot of different races in the main focus group. The country is never named. I suppose this is done so you just look at the situation and the characters and see how this would be if it happened anywhere in our modern world. It really reminded me a lot of Children of Men. But Children of Men was better. I don’t remember cringing watching it like I did with this movie. I guess it was just too intense. Rape scene, horrible filthy stuff all over the place, you really just felt the hopelessness the people were going through. And yeah everything aint all sunshine and roses but shit. I was all hyped up to see it like oooh this is gonna be good and I just had to shake myself off after I saw it. Good thing I hopped into a perkier movie afterwards (see: review for Nick and Norah…..

…Now)

Burn After Reading

written and directed by: Joel & Ethan Coen

Linda (Frances McDormand) is a mid 40s trainer at a gym. She is obsessed with her image and is consulting a doctor for cosmetic surgery, which she can’t afford. She is single and is testing out dating online. Her co-workers are Chad (Brad Pitt) and Ted (Richard Jenkins).

Osbourne (John Malkovich) is a CIA agent who has just been fired from his job due to a drinking problem. He is married to Katie (Tilda Swinton) who is a high powered…whatever and seems to be always irritated with him.

Harry (George Clooney) is an ex-government body guard who has never fired his weapon. His wife is a successful children’s book writer and when she’s doing book tours he looks for dates online. But he’s also doing Katie.

Since Osbourne has been fired he decides that he should write his memoirs. His disc is found by Chad in the gym and Chad thinks that he has stumbled upon some giant FBI secrets. He and Linda decide they can hold the information for ransom, or sell it to some Russians for money. Either way they want to get paid. They find out the disc belongs to Osbourne and thus begins their blackmail.

Harry is being pressured by Katie to leave his wife, since she has a case to leave Osbourne because of his current lack of employment. He is increasingly paranoid that he is being followed. And hooks up with Linda on a couple dates after an online match up.

I think that about covers how the characters are intertwined in the movie. It’s not confusing at all, but it gets a little gruesome as the film progesses and they all interact in a way that can only be called a “clusterf*ck”.

I wouldn’t say that you have to be a fan of the Coen’s movies to appreciate this movie, but you do have to get dark humor. But if you are a fan, then this is more like Fargo, less like The Big Lebowski. Clooney plays erratic pretty well. I might be biased since I love Brad Pitt, but his character cracked me up. Makes me want to squint and accuse people in a low, serious-sounding voice. I think Frances McDormand is a great actress, and she plays her character well, but she’s such a goofy woman. I was happy to see J.K. Simmons in the movie, although its just a short while. He plays a fast talking, highly irritated CIA officer. I was sad to not see the Coen regulars Steve Buscemi or John Tuturro in this one, but I can’t really complain. I’ll definitely be buying this one when it comes out on DVD.

Choke

Written and directed by: Clark Gregg
Book by: Chuck Palahunik

Ok so I was super psyched when I learned that they had optioned the movie rights for a bunch of Chuck P’s books. Choke was the first book of his that I read, and compared to the rest, it’s pretty “light”.

Victor Mancini (Sam Rockwell) works at a historic recreation site. One of those places fieldtrips go to see how people lived in the 1800s. He and his best friend Denny (Brad Henke) often get in trouble for going out of character. He uses his money to support his mother Ida (Angelica Huston) who is has gone more nuts than she used to be and needs the care of a high priced facility to stay alive. Historical re-creaters don’t make that much money, so for additional income Victor has come up with this plan to choke on his food in high priced restaurants. The people who save him keep in contact with him over the years and are clued into to “hardships” that Victor faces, and therefore send him cash to help him out. Oh, and he’s a nymphomaniac who picks up chics at the N.A. meetings.

While visiting his mother one day (who by the way, never remembers who her son is) Victor runs into a new nurse Paige Marshal (Kelly McDonald) who has a few ideas on how to help Victor’s mother recover, which includes Victor getting her pregnant. The sex is right up Victor’s alley since he’s slept with most of the nurse/doctor staff there anyway, but it proves to be difficult and Victor thinks that he might be developing some sort of feelings for Paige. He also learns that his mother wants to reveal to him who his father is but won’t tell him since she doesn’t recognize who she is talking to.

Although it had been a while since I read the book, from what I can remember the movie sticks pretty closely to it. Of course there is more detail in the book. Chuck goes into Victor’s sex addiction a lot more. There is more story with Denny and his addiction (Denny too is a sex addicted, but he gives it up for rocks). And the ending is different. There is always something lost in translation between books and movies, but all in all Choke does the story justice.

Angelica Huston was a great mother Mancini. They have several flashbacks of Victor’s upbringing and how Ida would take him on random adventures. She plays crazy a little too well. I liked Sam Rockwell as Victor. He was as dirty (literally) as Victor comes off in the book. I also liked the guy who played Denny. I don’t remember ever seeing him in anything, so maybe that’s how he played Denny well. I really do wish they would have went into Denny’s story more. I might have to re-read the book to remember why exactly I liked Denny so much. And my only other complaint is that there wasn’t enough Choking. I mean that’s the title. There was so much more behind it in the book. Dude choked A LOT. But in the movie I think you only get about 4 instances. They should have at least eluded to him choking more and his system behind it. The movie has it seem like more of a hobby than an actual secondary income.

There are plenty laughs in the movie. It’s not a downright comedy, but Victor’s interactions with the old crazy women in his mother’s care facility had me in tears. It’s plenty nudity and sex in the movie, since he is a sex addict. And Chuck Palahniuk has a sick and twisted mind and I’m glad they let people like him share it with the world.

The Family That Preys

Written and directed by: Tyler Perry

Ahhh another movie written, directed, produced by, starring, set designed, etc by Tyler Perry. I can’t stand his plays and rarely see his movies, but this one was one I willingly checked out.

The movie opens with Charlotte (Kathy Bates) hosting a wedding for her best friend Alice’s (Alfre Woodard) daughter Andrea (Sanaa Lathan). Andrea is a little snooty. Nothing is good enough for her and she complains despite everything being free. It annoys her sister Pam (Taraji P. Henson) but Alice calms the girls down. During the reception Andrea and her new husband Chris (Rockmond Dunbar) are re-aquainted with Charlotte’s son William (Cole Hauser) who runs his mothers prominent construction business. He tells the newlyweds that they should approach him about a job.

Fast forward to about 4 years later, we find Alice and Pam working away in Alice’s diner. In walks a fashionably dressed Andrea to pick up her son. The sisters argue about money and Andrea’s lack of help in the family business. Meanwhile Chris and Pam’s husband Ben (Tyler Perry) are discussing plans to start their own construction company.

One afternoon William comes over to his mother’s house to discuss a new business merger, but finds her interviewing Abby (Robin Givens) for the position he was hoping to take over. He’s quite pissed. But with Abby in place Charlotte takes this time to get a new Caddy and begs her friend to take a cross country trip with her.

William continues to work in the business as if he were in Abby’s role. It is becoming apparent to Abby (and the receptionist at the office) that there is more than meets the eye between William and Andrea. Ben and Chris decide that they want to ask their boss for a loan to start up their own business, but while doing so, Chris learns that his wife has been keeping a giant secret from him.

I am not sure if there are any lessons to be learned from Tyler Perry’s The Family that Preys. It wasn’t as entertaining as I wanted it to be. It’s not like I had extremely high hopes for the movie, but I did like Why Did I Get Married, so I was looking for something on par with that movie. It was different to see Sanaa play a bitch. She’s usually nice and bubbly. Taraji was pretty solid, as she is in most of her films. Tyler Perry wore this godawful wig. I don’t know if that was necessary for his role. I know construction workers can be a little unkempt at times but it was damn near distracting. I guess he didn’t want you to see him as himself…whatever.

Kathy Bates and Alfre Woodard seemed to do whatever they could with the material that was given to them. The story didn’t drag, but it didn’t mesh well together. When Alice and Charlotte make their cross-country tour it’s like they left Atlanta, and then stayed in Arizona for 3 weeks. That’s not cross country, and what the hell is there to do in Arizona for 3 weeks. It could have been a movie about a bi-racial Thelma and Louise, or a story about a woman cheating on her husband with her boss. But the two together…not so much.

It wasn’t awful, and if you’re a Tyler Perry fan then you might enjoy it, but for me it was just meh.

The Women

Written & Directed by: Diane English
(based on play written by Clare Booth Luce)


Normally I stay away from Chick Flicks. I had already seen (and cried over) the Sex and the City movie this summer and I thought I was done, but when I saw the preview for The Women I figured, what the hell. Looked like it would be a good Chick Flick. And we were in San Antonio fleeing the aftermath of Ike so I figured that would be as good a time as any to go for it.

Mary Haines (Meg Ryan) is a fashion designer, a mother, a wife, a charitable fundraiser, and most important (and obviously) a woman. We meet her as she is hastily planning a luncheon at her house for about 50 some women. She has a 12 year old daughter, an over working stock broker of a husband, an opinionated mother (Candice Bergen), and really good friends Sylvie (Annette Benning), Edie (Debra Messing), and Alex (Jada Pinkett-Smith). She’s your Everywoman.

Sylvie, the high powered business woman of the bunch, stops off at Saks one afternoon for her regularly scheduled manicure when the gossipy manicurist divulges that her friend, the perfume spritzing Crystal Allen (Eva Mendes) is currently sleeping with a married over working stock broker named Stephen Haines. Shock and horror no doubt. Sylvie rushes out and goes to Edie’s, the bohemian child factory, to figure out how they should break the news to Mary. Edie says its not their business they should keep out.

All is well in the group until Mary takes a trip to the same blabbing manicurist and hears the same story. Her world comes tumbling down. Her mother suggests that she and her daughter come relax for a bit and let Stephen really see what he’s missing out on. Mary thinks she’s too old for game playing. But Mom thinks that she’s not and lets Mary in on a secret that her father did the same thing and Mom and Dad made it through, Mary should be alright. Alrighty.

Sylvie, Edie, and Alex (she’s a lesbian and a writer) get in the car to take Mary to the airport when Alex finds out the secret Sylvie and Edie are hiding. She decides they need to confront Mary and see if she needs help. Mary blurts out she already knows and she heads to her mom while the girls go to Saks to snoop out Crystal.

The rest of the movie deals with Mary dealing with her husbands affair, losing her mothering skills, and her coming to terms with what it is she actually wants in life. Sylvie has to deal with not having any children, keeping her job at a magazine that doesn’t support her vision, and not having a husband. Edie and Alex are mostly just background characters.

But they weren’t kidding around with the title of this movie. There really is nothing but women in front of the camera for this movie. Yes the main cast is female and the supporting cast, but when they walk down the street, only women walk past. When they sit and eat, there’s only female diners in the restaurant. Me, my sister, and aunt all looked to see if there was one visible male in the whole movie. None to be found.

Meg Ryan is typical cutesie Meg. Annette Benning was likeable cause she didn’t take shit from anyone so it’s pretty typical that she was single. I suppose the writer was trying to be edgy with Jada’s character since she was a partier and wore leather jackets and wife beaters. Oh and was a lesbian. But there was no real significance in her character. Same with Edie’s. She had a bunch of kids. Ok. Maybe there was more that got left on the cutting room floor. I have no clue. And there’s a brief appearance by Bette Midler, who of course is great, cause its Bette, but it was a completely unneeded scene because for some reason Meg’s character takes a sebatical to a resort for the recently divorced.

But it’s a feel good chick flick hands down. We counted 2 men in our theater when we went to see it. Groups of women all over the theater. That’s what its made for and the audience knows it. We want to see best friends forever and mother/daughter relationships mended, women prevail but still be womanly, and the skank that stole your man get what she deserves. That is what this movie is for and that’s all that there is. Could it be better? Definetly. It could be a tighter, better directed and filmed movie, but is it necessary those things be there for you to see it? No. It’s nowhere near Sex and the City, but it doesn’t need to be. (although I wanted a bunch of the clothes the women wore)

I kinda want to check out the original play/movie. I know it was written in 1939, so I’m sure it is totally outdated but I’m guessing that this revision of it is looooosely based on the original. This is better than a Lifetime channel movie, more suited for say….WE channel instead. Check it out, with a few of your closest girlfriends, and guys if your girl mentions she wants to go see it, suggest she take some of her closest girlfriends.

Traitor

Written by: Jeffrey Nachmanoff, Steve Martin
Directed by: Jeffrey Nachmanoff


One man’s freedom fighter is another man’s terrorist, right? I kept thinking that the entire time watching Traitor.

Meet Samir Horn (Don Cheadle), devout Muslim, skilled chess player. As a boy in Sudan, he watches his father killed in a car bombing. Fast forward to present day. He is now a skilled explosives guy who trades with people all over the country. We meet him in Yemen selling devices to another Muslim, Omar (Said Taghmoui). They sit, drink tea, talk shop, but before anything can really be done the cops bust in and arrest the whole lot for terrorism.

The U.S. feds, lead by Agent Roy Clayton (Guy Pearce) stop by to see if they can get Samir to talk in exchange for a free ride back to the states (he grew up in Chicago, after the incident with his dad). Samir declines their offer and decides to sit tight in jail. Of course Omar assumes Samir is the traitor that sold them out and got them locked up in the first place. But once he witnesses Samir get the snot kicked out of him for giving a fellow prisoner some food, Omar thinks Samir might be worth getting to know.

They learn that they share a love of chess, have spent years in English schools, and are both devout in their faith. The two become close and Omar lets Samir in on their mission to knock out a bunch of Americans. Let them know they don’t really run stuff. And Samir is in on it. The clan breaks out of jail and goes to France to set up shop.

Meanwhile Agent Clayton is investigating one of the attacks on Americans. See, the terrorist cells figured that it would be a good idea to get Americans everywhere. We travel a lot. Bunch of people in Spain? Blammo. So Clayton is on the hunt trying to stop any further attacks, while Samir is on the run trying to carry out the plans of some of his Muslim brothers. See where that’s headed?

Luckily this is not a hard to follow movie. A lot of times when there is international terrorism involved the story becomes convoluted. It’s not hard to figure out who’s out to get who. I can’t even call anyone the “bad guy” because each side explains why they believe what they believe and what they are fighting for and why it’s right to them. I like that about this movie. They also try and vary from the typical face of the Muslim terrorist. There were also a couple turns that had me anticipating what was going to happen next cause I just couldn’t figure it out.

And as usual I loved Don Cheadle. I’m not saying its an Oscar worthy performance, but it does seem like he was really into the character. He didn’t just sound like any ol’ body trying to pray in Arabic. Guy Pearce was also pretty good. At first I was kinda confused as to why he had to have a Southern accent, but he makes a comment about his daddy being a Baptist preacher putting out KKK fires on people’s lawns, so there you have it. Said Taghmoui was pretty good as one of the terrorist guys, even though I knew him as the terrorist guy from Vantage Point.

I wish they were giving this movie more publicity. Since the summer blockbusters are over we can ease into the dramas of the fall. Woo hoo! (yes I get excited about every movie season).

Definitely go check out Traitor though.

My Bad

ok ive been majorly slacking lately. i haven't NOT been going to the movies, come on now its Bre', but i haven't been writing. here's a brief catch up:

Step Brothers - funny movie. but not for everyone. not how Napoleon Dynamite isnt for everyone though. this is grown up raunchy humor, but humor none the less. if youre a will ferrel fan (say...old school, not elf) then youll love it.

Pineapple Express - hillarious stoner movie, even if youre not a stoner. i loved James Franco in this. mostly cause he's always so serious in his movies. he's the perfect stoner looking guy in this one. it's plenty quotable and the critics call it a Bromance. i loved it.

Tropic Thunder - sooo this movie got major boycottage because of several things. the most popular of course was Robert Downey Jr in "blackface" and others were upset because several time they use the word "retard", but im guessing the people judged before they even saw a snippet of the movie. oh my GOD! this was hillarious. from beginning to end. it was the epitome of satire, NOT to be confused with spoof. don't believe the hype, go see it.

Elegy - i feel bad for not giving a movie this good a proper review. i'm sure once i get it on dvd i'll buy it and do a retroactive review. Ben Kingsley is awesome plain and simple. he's a professor who has the hots for a much younger student (Penelope Cruz), and does the smart thing by waiting for the end of the semester to get at her. he and his married friend (Dennis Hopper) have an affinity for the younger version of the fairer sex. Cruz and Kingsley develop a psuedo relationship over the course of time and it is eventually clear to Cruz that Kingsley is not so much looking for something...real. they deal with the ins and outs of the relationship, while Kingsley tries and cope with being a man forced to recognize his own age, yes at the age of...however old Ben Kingsley is.


i think thats all ive seen at the theater so far. ok i have a real one coming up.

The Dark Knight

Written by: Christopher & Jonathan Nolan
Directed by: Christopher Nolan


2008 is the summer of the superhero. And boy what a summer it is. Writer/Director Christopher Nolan (see:Memento) is back with the sequel in the new and improved Batman series.

The movie starts with an awesome bank robbery by Gotham’s newest villain The Joker (Heath Ledger). Batman (Christian Bale) fighting off some imposters and a known foe, The Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy reprises his role). The media still doesn’t know if they like or loathe Batman. And Bruce Wayne is still rich and still running his parents business with the help of Lucious Fox (Morgan Freeman), and his right hand man Alfred (Michael Caine).

He still has his eyes on Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gylenhaal replaces Katie Holmes), but she has her eyes on the city’s district attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart). Harvey Dent is a hands on kinda guy. He wants to help Jim Gordon take down the mob. He really wants to clean up Gotham. Bruce Wayne likes him. Thinks that he would be good for the city and maybe there will be no need for Batman.

The Joker, on the other hand, has no rhyme or reason to his madness. He wants to help the mob take down Dent, and get rid of Batman.

After that the plot gets a little more intricate. It is not complicated, but the movie is 2.5 hours. So they really fill up the time, but I didn’t get bored at all. There’s a few twists. A few uncertain deaths, as always. A new suit, thankfully with no nipples (see: George Clooney’s run as Batman). And a few hints at another piece of the franchise…at least I think so. At one point when Lucious is helping Bruce into the new suit, Bruce asks if the suit will stand up to dog attacks. Lucious says “a dog…maybe, but for sure a cat.” And then there’s this little creepy guy who works for Wayne Industries who thinks he knows the identity of Batman and he’s good with numbers. Riddler perhaps???

Christian Bale is still a good Batman. He gets a little heavy on the Batman voice once he’s in costume though. I like Maggie Gylenhaal over Katie Holmes any day. She has this scene where her and the Joker square off in a party. And Maggie just looks like she might swing on him. I can’t see Katie Holmes pull off the new, stronger Rachel Dawes.

Aaron Eckhart just seems like he’d be a cool guy to hang around. So he plays a good, persuasive Harvey Dent. And when an accident scars half his face, he gets into the Two Face role pretty well too (you did know Two Face was in this one right? It’s pretty obvious because as soon as he gets on screen he’s flipping a coin to make some decisions).

And the guy everyone wanted to see was Heath Ledger as the joker. Dude is scary. Plain and simple. Before when I thought of the Joker, I thought of Jack Nicholson ripping down art to a Prince soundtrack. Even on the cartoons (the 90s version of course. I didn’t fool around with Batman Beyond) the Joker was a little off, but not scary. Heath’s Joker is scary. A complete psycho path who thrives off the sheer terror he can put into people. Nolan did a great job with the writing for him. There is no clear origin on the Joker. And that just adds more to it. You can’t predict someone like that. No idea where he came from or what he wants or anything. And that crazy ass half done clown makeup just tops it off.

The only bad thing I could think of was the sound. At times the music was too loud and I couldn’t understand exactly what was being said. Especially if Bale was using his Batman voice. But that’s really about it. Apparently Nolan shot some of the intense action sequences with an IMAX camera…so I might go check it out again in IMAX to get the full effect…if I can ever find a showing that still has some available seats.

Internet fanboys (and girls) will tell you that The Dark Knight is the best thing since whatever was best before sliced bread. Yes this movie will make you laugh, jump, gasp, and sit straight up in your seat (dude drives a BatPod…half motorcycle, half amazing). So it is good, but again, it is no IronMan .

Persepolis

Written and Directed by: Vincent Paronnaud and Marjane Satrapi


I had been meaning to go see this when it was at River Oaks/Greenway Theaters late last year. But you know how those things go. Then it got an Oscar nod and I was like “dammit I wanted to see that”. So when it popped up as highly recommended (4 stars) on my Netflix list, I scooped it up.

The movie starts as Marjane (note the writer’s name. Yes it’s a biopic.) sits in the airport in Paris waiting for a flight back to her native Tehran (capital of Iran). She then flashes back to her childhood and tells the story of how she gets to where she is now.

In the 1970s Iran was under the rule of a cruel dictator Shah. Her family was actually in the bloodline of the previous President, and since he was overthrown by Shah, they were very revolutionary. They had a few family members die in the revolution, and were sympathetic to the cause. The Iranians take control back from Shah, but it turns out the fundamentalists were even worse than Shah was. The country was put under strict religious laws. Women were required to wear scarves in public. Liquor, porn, gambling, makeup, and other various items were outlawed. Marjane’s family does what they can to get by but with young Marjane growing more and more outspoken with her political views, and the country becoming more and more ravaged by war, they decide it is best to send her abroad to school.

She is then 13 attending school in Austria and France. Trying to fit in with the kids who speak a foreign language, making an effort to hold on to her Iranian heritage, and make it in the world with her family hundreds of miles away. Along her travels, she finds love, a sense of self and eventually homelessness.

When she returns to Iran, she finds the country in a worse state than when she left it. But her and her family have to find a way to survive.

Now, I know it seems like a downer of a movie but first let me tell you why you will like it. Young Marjane is very funny. She dreams of being a Saint and is an outspoken political activist at the age of 10. Her grandmother is a riot too. But I don’t know of anyone who can’t relate to a coming of age story. And it was completely unknown information to me about the Iran revolution. Made me get online and research a few things (ie: Iran was Persia, and the capital, Tehran, was called “Persepolis”. How you like that?)

Now I’m gonna tell you why some people might dismiss it. One, its French (Marjane lives there now). They have dubbed English versions, but suck it up and just get the regular French one. You can manage subtitles. Second, it’s animated. Not in the computer generated Pixar sense, and not in the cartoony…say Simpsons way either. Think comic strip. Like the dramatic comic strips you would skip. The flashback scenes (most of the movie) are black and white. But I got so into the story I didn’t think anything of the animation and I don’t know how the story could have been told without it. Apparently it was a book and comic and then was adapted into a movie.

Anyway, it was incredibly good. You really get drawn into the realism of the characters. How’s that for irony. And despite the serious tones and situations the movie deals with, you do get a few good laughs in and there is a bittersweet ending. It aint a feel good movie, but you do reflect some and think about what you would do if you were in little Marjane’s Nikes. Yes she rocks the gangsta Nikes. Emphasis on the rock. Check it out.

Hancock

written by: vincent ngo & vince gillian
directed by: peter berg

ahhh Independence Day. fireworks. hot dogs on the BBQ. chillin at the beach...and Will Smith at the Box Office. will's latest feat, Hancock, is about a disgruntled superhero who tries to work on getting his image fixed so the people will like him.

we first meet Hancock hungover on a bench. a little boy (incredibly TV cute) wakes him up to point to the high speed chase taking place on the LA freeway. the reluctant hero takes a bottle with him while he darts off to stop the theives. he succeeds, while causing millions of dollars in damage to the city.

cut to an office meeting downtown. we meet Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) a struggling PR guy who's mission is to save the world. his not so perfect sales pitch sends him home scatterbrained and he ends up with his car stalled on a track. in swoops Hancock who saves Ray, but tears the shit out of train. the people boo and criticize his tactics. Ray comes to his rescue (go figure) and takes his home for spaghetti night.

Hancock gets to meet the family. the kid Aaron, whos name Hancock can never get right, and the wife Mary (Charlize Theron) who disapproves of Hancock, yet seems to have a strange attraction to. Ray decides Hanckock will be his big project. His ultimate PR gig. and comedy ensues.

as if he hadnt already, will hit the jackpot with this movie. im talking super franchise here. they sort of give you a little background as to what hancock is, and how his powers work, but theres so much they can do with it in the future. i mean its sort of predictable whats gonna happen in the first, but they do manage to throw some surprises in there (well to Ariel anyway) and tons of laughs. jason bateman is hillarious as usual. and there are plenty of quotables for you to take home to your friends, or le petite assholes, if you will. hopefully some of the questions i had will be answered in the future. again, no iron man, but damn good superhero summertime will smith flick. cant go wrong with that combo.

my cousin pointed out to me that this is the first will smith movie where he does not run and/or yell. i was slightly disappointed, but he does fly and you get to see the left butt cheek. OWW! note: this movie really is pg-13. plenty of "shit" and "bitches" thrown in there. and thats probably why the shit was so funny...enjoy bitches.

i look forward to the sequel. and if anyone sees a hancock beanie...preferably from AE (he's into eagles)...let me know.

Wanted

Directed by: Timur Bekmambetov
Written by: Michael Brandy & Derek Haas

In the world of comic books, not everything needs to be explained. If you keep this tidbit of information in mind when you go and see Wanted, (and trust me, you will want to see this) then everything will go smoothly in your brain.

Meet Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy). A nobody. Works a job he hates in a cubicle he cant stand for a bitch of a boss with a knack for staplers. His best friend is doing his girlfriend. He has so little money in his bank account he cant withdraw from the ATM. And to top it all off, the poor kid has anxiety attacks.

His life continues as normal until one day at the pharmacy a hot chick named Fox (Angelina Jolie) tells him that his father was a great assassin that was killed by the man behind him. POW. Gun fight ensues followed quickly by a kick ass car chase.

Our boy Wesley wakes up in the lair of The Fraternity. A league of highly skillful assassins/weavers that run operations out of a textile mill (or slaughter house depending on what room you’re in) in Chicago. The Fraternity is lead by Sloan (Morgan Freeman). They plan to train young Wesley into the fearsome ass kicker his father was and then take out Cross (Thomas Kretschmann), the rouge member of the The Fraternity who killed his father and seems to be taking out members one by one.

Got it? Good.

This movie was purely awesome. I don’t think I’ve had that much fun watching people get smacked around since Shoot Em Up. This movie has tons of slow motion shots (and we all know everything looks better in slow mo), bullets that change direction mid flight, other bullets that fly across town, people with 400bpm heart rates, and a tatted up bare assed Angelina. And to top it off, you get to hear Morgan Freeman say “motherfucker”. OMG! How could you not want to see that?

It was kinda weird to see James McAvoy kicking ass, cause he’s usually in those Oscar award winning films. But he played the loser turned assassin very well. I often forget Angelina Jolie is an actress since she’s in the news for her personal life, but she just looks the part of a killer for some reason. And it wasn’t just the brass knuckles. I guess just think of an R Rated Laura Cross. And Morgan Freeman. Did you not see that he says “motherfucker”. It’s Morgan Freeman. Come on.
I think my only beef with the movie is that Common is in it but only says about 6 words. But he’s the strong, silent type, and well that’s ok.

All in all, prepare for a good ol summer flick. After Sin City, 300, and this, I kinda got an urge to find a comic book store and stock up on a few comics for myself.

The Incredible Hulk

written by: zac penn
directed by: louis leterrier

ok so i went to see this mainly because i love edward norton. i have little hulk knowledge and hadnt seen what i heard was the awfulness of "Hulk" but i knew this technically wasnt a sequel or remake, just another movie about the incredible hulk.

alright lets start with the plot. for those of you who are like me, marvel gives you what you need to know about bruce banner. some time ago he, a brilliant scientist, came up with this military experiment he just knew was going to work and he tried it on himself and well it went wrong (killing a few military personnel and harming his girlfriend), he got gamma poisoning (whatever that is) and no when he gets pissed...run.

cut to a bottling factory in brazil where we now find bruce working, and corresponding with someone online. clearly he is in hinding from the government. but as all things go, he is found, runs back home and the chase is on.
he gets help from his long lost love betty ross (liv tyler), who helps him hide from the army general after him. unknown to both of them he has a new right hand man emil blonsky (tim roth) who has a hunger for power and has his eye on banner.

this is by no means an origin story. what you dont know gets filled in along the way. its a good solid movie. not to say that it doesnt have its faults. i for one didnt care for liv tyler as the leading lady. but i havent really liked a girl in a superhero movie since nicole kidman was vicky vale in batman. and theres a few discrepancies with exactly how big Hulk is. and tim roth doesnt ditch his british accent and that part left me and my mom wondering why a brit would be in the amerian army...but those are just minor minor things. dont necessarily take away from the story.

you get a good marvel comic action story. theres some laughs. some stan lee. tons of action. decent CGI. a few hidden gems for the fans of the hulk tv show. and as in most movies a big chunk of new york (namely Harlem) gets torn up. awesome. theres a little cameo by Tony Stark. and dont bother staying after the credits because they didnt sneak in a lead into the sequel...at that point. trust there will be one.

soo while i have yet to come up with a proper rating system, i do recommend going to see the incredible hulk. it isnt as good as Iron Man was, but it wasnt as irritating as say...either Incredible 4 movie. you wont want a refund or your 2 hours back. if you do then you dont know what summertime is about.

The Happening

written/directed by: M Night Shyamalan

1999 was an awesome year for movies. Fight Club, American Beauty, the Matrix, the Sixth Sense, and so on and so forth. ahh the Sixth Sense. brought to us by a young m night. with a twist ending nobody expected (except me because my friend janis chose to tell me about bruce willis's...condition...)

flash forward to now. 2008. m nights latest movie. The Happening. i had to convince sonja to go see it with me, even though after The Village she wasnt too happy with me or shymalan. but AMC has that $5 am movie deal so we went for it.

boy were we pissed. not as pissed as i was with the village. not as irritated as i was with signs. but there was something about this movie that did not sit right with me. all the elements were there. mark wahlberg. the suspense that is m night. the R rating. the bad ass trailer.

it just fell short of what it promised. i know trailers were meant to get you into the theater. to make you want to pay the $9.25 cost that movies go for these days. fight the crowds, waste your gas. all that. and i bought into it knowing this is what trailers are for and rarely has a movie every lived up to its trailer.

ok lets start from the top. there is an event happening in central park. a light breeze comes through. bam! construction workers are jumping off buildings. ladies are stabbing themselves with ponytail holder chopsticks. cops are using their firearms to blow their brains out.

"is it the terrorist" (using my dakota fanning circa War of the Worlds voice). who knows. skip to philadelphia (of course. this is a shymalan movie). we meet mark wahlberg. a dorky science teacher fascinated with some phenomenon of disappearing honey bees. apparently einstein thought that when the bees die, humans got about 4 years left of living on the planet. alright.

we meet his best friend (john leguizamo), his wife (zooey deschanel), and his best friends daughter (some little girl i dont think says 2 words the whole movie). they get scared and want to high tail it out of the city.

somewhere along the ride they learn that the "terrorist" hit a park in philly and sure enough people are offing themselves left and right. scary, no? oh but what ever could it be causing the mass suicides. theres no kool aid to be found!

anyway, as the day progresses, more and more people in smaller and smaller populations are dying. and its less and less likely its terrorist.

following? ok good. i dont want to go too more into it because then id give away the plot (no twist to be foiled) and i hate when that happens to me (see: aforementioned sixth sense incident)

ok plot out the way. the movie is just...just...i cant put my finger on it. i think it was a long long Go Green commercial. no there werent any toyota priuses or whole food stores or recycling bins (there was a cheesy iPhone placement though). but the message was just...got damn.

and the whole rated Rness. ive seen pg movies that were creepier. i did jump at one part and yes, people were killing themselves, but that coulda been portrayed with good editing and directing.

and the acting. it was just a cheesefest. and not in a good B movie sort of blantantly bad way. in just a bad way.

all in all id say skip it. let someone else whos seen it tell you what happened and save yourself the price of admission. just go home and re-watch the sixth sense if you want some suspense.